Q: How should one act when someone, even if a senior devotee, teaches and preaches ideas that are contrary to proper devotional conclusions? Can one correct them, should one keep their company?
A: The proper course of action depends largely on the relationship between yourself and the person presenting the unfit instructions.
Keeping the company of someone advocating unbefitting doctrines, or persistent in his misconceptions, is a disturbance for a life of bhajan. In keeping such company, the mind will grow restless in constantly contemplating the contrary views it meets with. One should keep the company of the sadachari-sadhus who have embraced the scripture and the teachings of the purva-acharyas, who have no independent message to advocate, and who are always seeking to improve their insight and realization of siddhanta proper.
If someone is established in a relationship where he is respected in the capacity of a person of whom the contrary devotee would take advice, it is appropriate for him to attempt to rectify the situation by appealing to him with proper evidence of the correct conclusion, and with the appropriate devotional spirit of care and compassion.
If someone does not have such a relationship, he should not make unsolicited attempts to correct another. He should rather, if he truly feels that something must be done to rectify the situation, submit the matter to someone in an appropriate situation and with the power to remedy the situation. Unfit attempts to correct another are in breach of proper devotional conduct and will merely create agitation in everyone involved. If one in such a situation wishes to clarify the matter, he should present his views in the form of a question laced with proper evidences and call for a comment, rather than making a direct statement of the inappropriety of another's view.
If one is confronted with such a situation on a public arena and the matter is directly addressed to oneself, then one may, if he feels so inclined, and with due awareness of the entanglement it may create, respond in a befitting manner. Otherwise, in an assembly of Vaishnavas, if the matter is not directly addressed to oneself, or if one's response is otherwise not expected, he would do well to first allow his seniors to address the matter for the welfare of all concerned.
One should not disrespect another or delve on his faults. Contemplation on the shortcomings of others, as well as discussions featuring critique of the same, when not undertaken with a realistic and sincere spirit of offering aid for the confused party, are detrimental for devotional progress. They occupy the mind and scatter it all across the universe, they create inner tension with the medium of negative emotional responses. In the worst case scenario, if undertaken with feelings of pride, they cripple the creeper of devotion and make one revert to a situation nondifferent from the object of the critique; thus the Lord teaches us of our dependence on sadhu-kripa.
Given all the complications involved with such situations, one would do well to stay afar from contrary company and instead seek the company of those, who are endowed with a similar spirit to oneself, who are affectionate in extending their friendship, and who are farther ahead on the path of devotion. In such company, the mind will remain focused on bhajan.
Showing posts with label etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label etiquette. Show all posts
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Q&A: Leaving a non-Vaishnava guru
Q: Should one leave a non-Vaishnava guru? What is the best procedure for doing it?
A: The Vaishnava-shastras advice us to give up the mantra given by a guru who is a non-Vaishnava, seeking shelter of a Vaishnava-guru:
Padma-purana (6.226.1) has a similar shloka, stating avaiSNavopadiSTena mantreNa na parA gatiH - "The mantra instructed by a non-Vaishnava will not deliver the highest aim." One who has been captivated with the ideals of Vaishnavism should therefore adopt the path leading him to the desired destination, forsaking paths and allegiances that prove to be obstructions to the same.
The essence of the advice is to ensure that one becomes firmly established on the path leading onwards to the desired goal. To the best of my knowledge, our acharyas have not written specific instructions concerning the manner in which the former allegiances are to be closed. The reason being, there are countless non-Vaishnava traditions with distinct practices and cultures, and amidst them countless individual situations may arise.
A Vaishnava, by his nature, is not inclined to cause unnecessary grief to others. Sadness caused in the minds of others is a burden for the soul. Therefore, in situations such as this, if there are multiple avenues that'll essentially accomplish the same goal, ie. wholehearted adoption of the path proper towards the desired goal, one should take the course of action that is least likely to give grief to others. What exactly this is in the situation you describe, you'll have to assess yourself as you are yourself best aware of the situation and the individuals involved. Let us reflect on the general principles involved.
If you do choose to address the issue in person, do remember to observe the appropriate etiquette of respect towards a senior person you once revered in the capacity of a guru. In a meek state of mind, express your heart's burning desire and determination to follow your chosen path, note how the ways of Bhagavan are unforeseen, express your gratutide for all that has taken place and been given, and ask for his blessings to move onwards in your quest for paramartha. If the unfortunate situation should arise where the former guru's anger is displayed, never respond with anger, but always display the ideal character of a true Vaishnava.
If you suspect that a conflict situation would arise in a personal exchange, consider writing a letter as a matter of courtesy. I would personally opt for informing the guru via whatever medium is convenient instead of moving on "in secret". I am certain the former gurus would expect that you informed them of the change of situation. He has once accepted responsibility for overseeing your spiritual progress, why should you keep him under the impression that he must still bear the burden of responsibility? This is a common courtesy observed even in mere mundane dealings. You would not leave a job without informing your boss of the same, would you?
If the issue of your having accepted a new guru and a new path came to the former guru's attention without your having informed him, how would he think of Vaishnavas then? In contrast, if you had informed him of the change of situation in a manner befitting the good character of a Vaishnava, how would he think of Vaishnavas then, and how would he speak of Vaishnavas then? You would then bear the responsibility for that. Remember to consider the possible ramifications of your move beyond the immediate personal interests. The seemingly easiest way may not always be the best way in the grand scheme of spiritual life.
avaiSNavopadiSTena mantreNa nirayaM vrajet |
punaz ca vidhinA samyag grAhayed vaiSNavAd guroH || hbv 4.366
punaz ca vidhinA samyag grAhayed vaiSNavAd guroH || hbv 4.366
"From the mantra instructed by a non-Vaishnava, only grief will arise.
One should again accept a guru in accordance with injunctions, a Vaishnava-guru."
One should again accept a guru in accordance with injunctions, a Vaishnava-guru."
Padma-purana (6.226.1) has a similar shloka, stating avaiSNavopadiSTena mantreNa na parA gatiH - "The mantra instructed by a non-Vaishnava will not deliver the highest aim." One who has been captivated with the ideals of Vaishnavism should therefore adopt the path leading him to the desired destination, forsaking paths and allegiances that prove to be obstructions to the same.
The essence of the advice is to ensure that one becomes firmly established on the path leading onwards to the desired goal. To the best of my knowledge, our acharyas have not written specific instructions concerning the manner in which the former allegiances are to be closed. The reason being, there are countless non-Vaishnava traditions with distinct practices and cultures, and amidst them countless individual situations may arise.
A Vaishnava, by his nature, is not inclined to cause unnecessary grief to others. Sadness caused in the minds of others is a burden for the soul. Therefore, in situations such as this, if there are multiple avenues that'll essentially accomplish the same goal, ie. wholehearted adoption of the path proper towards the desired goal, one should take the course of action that is least likely to give grief to others. What exactly this is in the situation you describe, you'll have to assess yourself as you are yourself best aware of the situation and the individuals involved. Let us reflect on the general principles involved.
If you do choose to address the issue in person, do remember to observe the appropriate etiquette of respect towards a senior person you once revered in the capacity of a guru. In a meek state of mind, express your heart's burning desire and determination to follow your chosen path, note how the ways of Bhagavan are unforeseen, express your gratutide for all that has taken place and been given, and ask for his blessings to move onwards in your quest for paramartha. If the unfortunate situation should arise where the former guru's anger is displayed, never respond with anger, but always display the ideal character of a true Vaishnava.
If you suspect that a conflict situation would arise in a personal exchange, consider writing a letter as a matter of courtesy. I would personally opt for informing the guru via whatever medium is convenient instead of moving on "in secret". I am certain the former gurus would expect that you informed them of the change of situation. He has once accepted responsibility for overseeing your spiritual progress, why should you keep him under the impression that he must still bear the burden of responsibility? This is a common courtesy observed even in mere mundane dealings. You would not leave a job without informing your boss of the same, would you?
If the issue of your having accepted a new guru and a new path came to the former guru's attention without your having informed him, how would he think of Vaishnavas then? In contrast, if you had informed him of the change of situation in a manner befitting the good character of a Vaishnava, how would he think of Vaishnavas then, and how would he speak of Vaishnavas then? You would then bear the responsibility for that. Remember to consider the possible ramifications of your move beyond the immediate personal interests. The seemingly easiest way may not always be the best way in the grand scheme of spiritual life.
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