Q&A: Siddha-identity in everyday life: Harmonizing siddha-deha with ordinary activities

Q: I have been wondering how one harmonizes one's siddha-identity with "ordinary" activities like bathing, eating, going to the toilet etc. Or is that a kind of mental switch, like during bhajan I am X gopi (siddha-deha), then I turn into Y das (sadhaka-deha) and do my ordinary activities until its bhajan time again? How can I meditate upon myself as a perfected, spiritual entity while being sick, driving a car, using my mobile phone or arguing with the boss in the office etc.?

A:  In his Bhakti-rasamrita-sindhu, Sripad Rupa Goswamipad presents the famous two-fold division of seva to be undertaken by those who seek to follow the raga-marga:

sevA sAdhaka-rUpeNa siddha-rUpeNa cAtra hi |
tad-bhAva-lipsunA kAryA vraja-lokAnusArataH || brs 1.2.295

"Serving in the sadhaka-form, as well as in the siddha-form, engaged in activities while desiring the mood of the residents of Vraja, following in their wake."

The external sadhaka-life is to be undertaken while emulating the example of the Goswamis of Vrindavan, engaged in the varieties of devotional services led by sravana, kirtana, archana and so forth. These activities are classified as svAbhISTa-bhAva-sambandhi, or as having a direct relationship with one's desired feelings. These activities, even though undertaken in the external body, lead one to the identity within. Therefore, there is no essential conflict between the two realms in which service has been undertaken.

Such activities of devotional service are also known as svarUpa-siddha-bhakti, or acts that are inherently devotional by their nature. This classification has been presented in contrast to saGga-siddha-bhakti, or elements that attain the quality of devotion through contact with devotion, and aropa-siddha-bhakti, or activities over which the quality of devotion is superimposed, and that are therefore considered to be akin to bhakti.

The quality for kindling inner revelation that is inherent in activities of svarUpa-siddha-bhakti lacks in the two other categories. Activities such as maintaining one's livelihood through work in the society, and thereby maintaining one's facility for devotional services, are generally known as aropa-siddha-bhakti, or activities that become devotional through superimposition. The activities are not devotional in and of themselves, their quality is transformed after the event through the devotee's internal spirit of offering and surrender.

Though elements of aropa-siddha-bhakti are also helpful, and indeed a necessity at a certain stage, they must begin to withdraw as one enters into the world of siddha-rUpa-sevA. Lacking a direct connection with the transcendent realm in which the seva is to take place, they have a great potential for distracting the mind. Some elevated souls are able to transmutate even worldly activities into direct acts of devotion through the power of their smarana, remaining aloof from external influence. However, most sadhakas will find that such external activities will prove to be obstacles in the practice of smarana.

Some aspects of ordinary daily life have qualities that are parallel to the course of the lila. Therefore, someone conversant with the lila can easily attribute the self-conception of the svarupa and the flow of the lila over them and remain in the proper self-identity in the course of the said activities. One should, as far as possible, seek to organize his life in a manner that facilitiates absorption in the lila throughout the day.

The adoption of a specific transcendent identity and the subsequent gradual absorption in the nectarine services of Radha-Krishna possess a vast potential for attracting and containing the consciousness beyond and away from this world. Therefore, as one becomes more accomplished in such practices, he will find it harder and harder to dwell amidst a mundane environment, so much so that time spent in distraction will begin to be felt as painful, and indeed unbearable. The two worlds don't mix together all that well.

For success in smarana, it is vital that one protect the consciousness from outer influences, as smarana is dependent on the purity of the mind – smaraNaM tu zuddhAntaH-karaNatAm apekSate (BhS 276). The foremost among the purifiers of the heart is the chanting of the divine Name, which one should chant at least one lakh, or sixty-four rounds, daily. Before exposing the matter of raga-bhajana (verse 8) in his Upadeshamrita, Srila Rupa Goswamipad has laid emphasis on the worship of the Name as the healer of the polluted heart (verse 7). Chanting a lakh of Names or more, along with the other devotional duties that must be undertaken to support the inner worship, take a substantial amount of time.

All of this has led some mahatmas to conclude that one should renounce the world as a prerequisite for the practice of lila-smarana. While the formal acceptance of the life of a renunciate is not necessarily called for, a withdrawal from the world is instrumental in making the practice successful. Successful smarana calls for exclusivity, and it calls for the absolute rejection of mundane desire. A heart riddled by the mundane, devoid of suddha-bhakti, is not eligible for entrance into the kingdom of rasa.

One must remember that svarupa-meditation and lila-smarana are not a matter of mere techniques of visualization. The lila is self-manifest by nature and arises of grace, grace that is drawn towards one who forsakes all for the sake of a wholehearted devotional pursuit. The appearance of the lila in the chamber of the heart cannot be forced. It flows naturally in a pure and devoted heart, and is therefore aptly called svarasiki. The varieties of meditation, memorization and visualization that are undertaken, despite their being instrumental in supporting the attainment, do not possess the power for revealing the lila and bestowing saksat-seva.

One may also, disregarding all of the above, engage in a semblance of cultivation of svarupa-meditation and lila-smarana. While through that bhajana-siddhi will not be attained, often a favorable samskara is created, a samskara that will in due course of time lead the devotee to the shelter of realized bhajananandi-mahatmas who infuse him with the power to leave behind the mundane and embrace a life of bhajan. Prior to that, practices of smarana are reminiscent of a child's play with dolls. Feeding a doll and putting it to sleep gives a conception of what having a baby is like, and yet the experience is far removed from the labor a mother must bear in caring for a child.

Q&A: Raga-marga and family life - Do the two go together?

Q: Do raga-marga and family life go together? It seems to me that there is much emphasis on renunciation, and I can practically see, as a householder, that especially with children it is often hard to focus on wholesome sadhana.

A: This question may certainly awaken as one reflects on the long traditions of vairagi-mahatmas in Vraja, and as one then comes across sayings in the scriptures that emphasize renunciation and seem averse to family life.

In addressing this, let us first establish the foundation: The nature of bhakti. How many times has devotion been described as apratihata (unobstructed) and avyavahita (uninterrupted), and how many times has the supreme independence of devotion been glorified? Can devotion, then, be dependent on external circumstances? Has it not been said, jIvanti san-mukharitAM bhavadIya-vArtAm sthAne sthitAH (BhP 10.14.3): "Staying in your place, filling your life with narrations of the Lord heard from the saints' mouths..."

Devotion cannot, therefore, be in a subordinate position to one's external position in life: Rather, it will reign supreme in any situation of life.

One is shackled to this world by the family and the children only as long as love for Krishna has not awakened:

tAvad rAgAdayaH stenAs tAvat kArA-gRhaM gRham |
tAvan moho ’Gghri-nigaDo yAvat kRSNa na te janAH || bhp 10.14.36

"O Krishna! As long as people do not become your devotees, so long do attachments and so forth remain thieves, so long is one's home a prison cell, and so long is one shackled by illusion at the family's feet."

Visvanatha Cakravartipada offers an illuminating commentary on this verse, consisting of a lengthy response to the objection that some renunciates may present, suggesting that the residents of Vraja are but ordinary householders, bound by a network of attachment:

"Yes. That is true for most worldly householders. However, what to speak of the householders of Vraja, even your ordinary devotees in other places are superior to these renounced critics. . . .

"O Krishna! As long as people do not receive the mercy of your devotees and become your followers, they remain in this position. However, when they become your devotees, they develop attachment for bhakti and aversion to things obstructing bhakti, and then repose all their love in you. In this way, the thieves of material attraction, hatred and love become sanctified by becoming fixed in you, and then help the devotee by giving him spiritual bliss, knowledge and a host of advantages.

"In that way the same home, which was once a prison cell created by favorable and contrary karmic reactions, becomes for the devotee a place filled with service to you by hearing and chanting your glories, and by a host of other activities meant to please you. These activities carry one to your eternal abode."

Then, renouncing one's spouse and children is not a pre-requisite for following raga-marga! The stage of anisthita-bhajana (unsteady worship) at which such speculations arise is called vyUdha-vikalpA (parading possibilities) in Visvanatha Cakravarti's Madhurya-kadambini (3.10); in this section, the author goes on to present at some length the devotee's speculations on whether to renounce or to remain with the family. A very significant aspect of this section is the total absence of any conclusion on whether one ought to renounce or not – it does not seem to make any difference whatsoever to the author.

The path of bhakti is not one of acceptance and rejection; it is one of transformation. Let us remind ourselves of Rupa Gosvami's two famous verses on vairagya (BRS 1.2.255–256):

anAsaktasya viSayAn yathArham upayuJjataH |
nirbandhaH kRSNa-sambandhe yuktaM vairAgyam ucyate || 1.2.255

"Being detached from objects of enjoyment while using them in an appropriate way in relationship with Krishna is known as befitting renunciation."

The magic, then, is in forging a relationship between the world and a life of devotion, connecting the dots and making one's whole life with all it entails spiritually meaningful. On the other hand:

prApaJcikatayA buddhyA hari-sambandhi-vastunaH |
mumukSubhiH parityAgo vairAgyaM phalgu kathyate || 1.2.256

"The rejection of objects with a relationship to Hari by a seeker of mukti, who considers them worldly objects, is known as worthless renunciation."

Do not be led astray by immature renunciation, then! By doing so, you would only hamper your own devotional growth.

Narottama Das Thakur Mahasaya, a great renunciate himself, taught us the proper spirit:

gRhe vA vanete thAke, hA gaurAGga bole DAke,
narottama mAge tAra saGga ||

"Whether at home or in the forest, if one calls out, 'Ha Gauranga!' – Narottama longs for his company."

How could he have said anything less? After all, his dear companion, Srinivasa Acarya, was a father to six beautiful children: Vrindavan, Radha-Krishna, Gati-govinda, Hemalata, Krishnapriya and Kancana-latika. No less was Rasikananda, the foremost among Syamananda's disciples, who had three sons with Syamadasi – Radhananda, Krishna-Govinda and Radha-Krishna. There is no scarcity of householders with children among Mahaprabhu's companions and the following generations of illustrious Gaudiya saints and sadhakas.

In my own parampara, there is a a whole lineage of householders, and indeed over the first six generations it is specifically a vamsa, or a family lineage – and this is a trend that is present practically throughout the broad Gaudiya tradition. There is no lack of precedents in this regard.

"That's all fine in principle", says the skeptic – "But surely a householder with children can't allocate sufficient time for sadhana!"

No doubt, children will take much of one's precious time – and let us remember that time spent in raising children is also time preciously spent. One who has given his or her life to Krishna, when there is unreserved atma-samarpana – "Ha Thakur! I am yours, and yours alone!" – has effectively transformed all of life's duties from worldly to divine. This we know as Krishna's samsara – it is no longer ours.

Now, we do also need to allocate time for acts known as svarupa-siddha-bhakti, or acts that are a direct devotional engagement by their nature, such as sravana, kirtana and smarana. How do we find the time for that? We find the time by ridding ourselves of so many of our precious anarthas: Watching movies, reading worldly literature, wasting our time with countless trivial pursuits. Re-priorize your life. Whatever the quantity of time you are able to invest in direct sadhana-activities, make that time stand out. Rather than wasting three hours in half-attentive hovering about, spend half an hour or one hour in sadhana with deep focus, entirely undistracted, giving your heart and soul to it.

Visuddha-bhajana is possible anywhere, and anytime – for those willing. When amidst obstructions, our passion for bhajana grows greater and greater, and our inner force of determination is nourished; but do not think of your children as something undesired! Whatever duties Thakur has integrated into your life, take them as his gifts and tend to them as you would to your other devotional deeds.

In concluding, let us hear the apt words of Bhaktivinoda, an exemplary sadhaka and a father to ten children, from his Gitavali:

sampade vipade, bhAi, bolo hari bolo
gRhe thAko, vane thAko, bolo hari bolo
kRSNera saMsAre thAki’ bolo hari bolo

"In success and failure, O brother, chant Hari, chant!
Staying home, or staying in the forest, chant Hari, chant!
Staying in Krishna's samsara, chant Hari, chant!"

* * * * * * *

Q: Is the following verse relevant in this context?

antare niSThA kara, bAhye loka-vyavahAra |
acirAt kRSNa tomAya karibe uddhAra || CC 2.16.239

[Prabhu said:] "Maintain strong faith internally and behave
outwardly as ordinary mortals. Then very soon, Krishna will uplift you."

A: Mahaprabhu's words (CC 2.16.239), cited earlier, were spoken to Raghunatha Das in a particular situation and are out of context here. Prabhu spoke of the befitting behavior and inner attitude in a situation where the conditions are adverse. With my post, I had hoped to demonstrate that the life of a householder is not necessarily an adverse situation one must strive to be soon delivered of. The life of a householder, just as the life of a renunciate, is only as beneficial or contrary as you make it be. An escape from householder life is not an escape from worldly desires – how many times have we witnessed the temporary nature of renunciation born of adversity?

Householder life can be a great asset, if you so will. Hear Kasyapa's words to Diti from the third canto of the Bhagavata (3.14.18-21):

sarvAzramAn upAdAya svAzrameNa kalatravAn |
vyasanArNavam atyeti jala-yAnair yathArNavam || 18
yAm Ahur Atmano hy ardhaM zreyas-kAmasya mAnini |
yasyAM sva-dhuram adhyasya pumAMz carati vijvaraH || 19
yAm AzrityendriyArAtIn durjayAn itarAzramaiH |
vayaM jayema helAbhir dasyUn durga-patir yathA || 20
na vayaM prabhavas tAM tvAm anukartuM gRhezvari |
apy AyuSA vA kArtsnyena ye cAnye guNa-gRdhnavaH || 21

"With the help of all the asramas, one with a wife, in his own asrama, may cross over the perilous waves of existence just as the ocean is crossed with boats."
"O esteemed one, she is said to be a half of the man, sharing in all that is auspicious and desired; sharing his burdens, a man leads a life without distress."
"Taking shelter of her, we can easily conquer the enemies of the senses, unlike those in other asramas, just as a fort-commander drives away the invaders."
"We are unable to return the favor to you, O queen of the household, even in our entire lifetime; not even they, who appreciate such qualities, can."

Especially, if the wife and the husband are both serious sadhakas, they can do a great deal to facilitate each others' devotional lives. The burden a renunciate would have to bear alone, the two can share, taking burden off each others' shoulders and paving a smooth way for fulfilling devotional engagement.

Contrary to "classical" gender roles seen in Indian societies, the male sadhaka will never consider himself to be the master and the enjoyer of the wife's services. Rather, he is a servant just as she is. She is a maidservant of Krishna, a dasi of Radha's - and you are dasa-dasanu-das. What right do you - or I - have, then, to demand or to expect favors of others? Of course, in a naturally affectionate relationship both are seeking opportunities to help the other, to facilitate the other's immersion in bhajana - but nothing ought to be taken for granted, lest we fall into a dark well of false egoism that devours our spirit of devotion.

Now, for such a dynamic to unfold in a manner that is truly fruitful, desires for enjoying the other in a mundane way will have to be forsaken. Alas, would not the mere thought of subjecting a maidservant of Radha and Krishna to our gross, bodily desires, be audacious! With this, we shall also have to reflect on abstinence in married life. But worry not, desires can be conquered! Bhakti is a most powerful force, causing wonders in those willing to receive and embrace this divine current in their hearts!

There is no obstacle too great for the sovereign goddess of bhakti to be conquered, for she is only nourished, defeating and subjugating each and every adversary – and there is truly no rival for her power in the three worlds. Let us seek a connection that taps us to the source of this divine force, and let us be committed with sincerity in sustaining this precious link – for having attained that, the great and the inaccessible shall be within an arm's length, and no attainment in the spiritual domain shall be beyond our reach.