F: My Precious Anartha-astakam

My Precious Anartha-astakam

– Svatantra-smriti, Artha-nirupanam –

Pure devotion, the mere notion, casts shivers up my spine;
Seriously, you're proposing, the whole world I'd decline?
I must be gradual, I must be casual, stir my concocted soup;
Anarthas, my precious, my precious, my precious!

Rules, fools, are for the pure, and they sure ain't my cure;
For to suppress and to oppress would be harmful for sure!
A higher taste you told to relish? I can't taste it, for I cherish
Anarthas, my precious, my precious, my precious!

Lord money, my honey, the precious aim of my life,
Kali's pal, yes I know it, but my life needs some strife!
Must work hard, must work hard, to make more than I need;
Anarthas, my precious, my precious, my precious!

Juicy gossip I so cherish, 'tis the elixir for the soul;
Thousand ears and thousand mouths I have grown for the foul!
To know the faults of all others is to feel good myself;
Anarthas, my precious, my precious, my precious!

Abstinence – alas, such a relic from the past!
The observance is abnormal, said Sri Freud's forecast;
And I agree, for I so love that tickling sensation;
Anarthas, my precious, my precious, my precious!

With gusto I devour every dish, I'm not afraid;
No matter who cooked, and no matter who paid!
I am what I eat, yes, and I therefore proclaim:
Anarthas, my precious, my precious, my precious!

I am great, and I am good, and don't you tell me what to do;
For I know what's my best, and that again I shall chew;
I don't need your advice, for I cherish my every vice:
Anarthas, my precious, my precious, my precious!

The names of Sri Krishna I should chant? But oh why?
I don't like it, and I know it, I don't even care to try!
For I heard it might harm my attachments and my pride:
Anarthas, my precious, my precious, my precious!

Then chant this, O friends, for the mistress of your heart;
Queen Anartha the sovereign, lest she be jealous and depart!
Be obedient – for she's precious like a gem on the snake's part;
And please carry her everywhere with your soul-molded cart.